amanda's blog

Worn Panties, Stockings, Pantyhose, etc.

I know I have mentioned this previously in my blog but it seems that I had better do so again.
Those of you who wish to purchase the delicate, soiled and fragranted worn panties, stockings and other personal items of an SK Mistress can contact me for a list of the women who do provide this service. Personal items come sealed in a ziplock bag so as the fragrance is contained within. Not all Mistresses provide this service, of those who do some will incorporate the use of their panties or other items in phone fantasies and email training.

If you require any further information please email me and NOT ask the receptionist endless questions about the women's underwear which she is not able or interested in answering.

It's that time of year again.

Last year our Gift Certificates proved very popular over Christmas. Do remember an SK gift certificate can be for Dungeon Hire or time in the dungeon with a Mistress or submissive of your choosing, although you must verify with the lady concerned. You can also give a gift certificate for phone or webcam sessions.

The goal of the true submissive?

To please the Dominant should be the goal of the true submissive; to put the Mistress/Masters' pleasure before their own is the crucial difference between the submissive and the fetishist or casual scene player.

Slavery within my world is a voluntary act of submission, an act of self discipline. It should be a state of heightened awareness where the submissive uses his/her own will to mold himself/herself to the expectations and standards of the Dominant.

A Dominant may employ difficult tests of servitude; this is their prerogative, as are the methods of training and correction. Disobeying commands to gain attention or discipline is not a worthy act of submission. Genuine, proud, graceful obedience should be rewarded.

To train a slave I require the submissive to extend their trust, to communicate their needs and desires, and to follow my will. What I don't appreciate is being bombarded by messages of "when can I serve you". A slave needs to have faith that I take their needs and mine into account and act accordingly, hopefully with wisdom and grace.

In exchanging control for training, the submissive can enjoy the thrill of training and guidance with the Dominant through any style of consensual interaction as long as the desire and connection is there.

Without a connection or 'chemistry' it just doesn't work for either partner.

Master Training - Pricing.

I have had quite a few queries regarding Master Training. Many of
you were very interested in the recent promotion run by Mistress Rika
and submissive Hannah but felt the price was far too high for you.
However, the people who did engage in these sessions found them to
be most informative and erotic.

Please let me point out that the Master Training I run is purely
educational. Yes, you are given instruction on the areas that interest
you but there is no sexual relief, it is not a play session.

As I stated previously a consultation is $110.00 for the hour, this is
without a lady present. To demonstrate on your own submissive
is $250, if I need to call in a lady for you then of course the price
is a little higher, a lot depends on what you want to learn. However
the pricing is nothing like a session price with a Pro Dome and a submissive,
with the full intent of gaining sexual relief. For sessions such as these my
prices are no different than the other Mistresses at Salon Kitty's.

Do remember, when a Pro Domme and professional submissive give
over their time, knowledge and body for an extremely erotic experience
it is very different from a purely instructional session which is what I
am referring to. And yes, I do travel to your premises however I expect
any travel expenses to be reimbursed.

If you want further details feel free to email me but please do include
your interests and what you would like to learn.

Apprentice Russian Mistress Aleksa.

If you haven't had the chance to meet the very sexy Mistress Aleksa you should take the opportunity to do
so. I have received some excellent feedback from clients who have seen her in session and would suggest
you come in and at least meet with her.

Aleksa is very keen, she arrives at SK's so full of enthusiasm - if you do get a chance maybe you would
like to include her in your session. Aleksa is available during the week and on Saturday evenings.

http://salonkittys.com/bdsm/mistresses/aleksa.shtml

Developing BDSM Relationships & BDSM Play

The escape provided by a rich 'sexual fantasy life' can be constructive
and very fulfilling physically and emotionally.

In playing out any BDSM scene what has always interested me the most
is the relationship between the Dominant and submissive.

This is the reason I specialize in guiding seasoned players to expand and
extend their interests as well as the initiation of novices, men and women
who have a genuine interest in D/s. I provide all kinds of "Further
Education" sessions for individuals and couples individually tailored to
each couples needs and wants.

If you want to explore your sexual fantasies, or if you have any specific
sexual concerns you may find a private confidential consultation will help
you shed a little light on your interests or problems. My aim is to be able to
help you to expand your experiences in BDSM, Fantasy and Fetish.

If you would like a private consultation I need to know what your experience has
been up until now, and how you would like to develop it. The more information you
can give me the more chance I will have of being able to help you.

While there is no substitute for sitting down and talking openly, honestly and at great length,
I've found from years of experience that questionnaires can be a great help, if for no other reason
than to open your mind up to other areas or activities that you may not have thought of. I may ask
about types of play you have already tried, would wish to explore and what your limits are
(if you know them of course)

I do appreciate that this is personal information. I have been counseling people now for many years
and I would like to assure everyone that all such information is held in the strictest confidence.

I charge $110.00 for the hour - (please note this is NOT a play session) The more honest you can be
with me about what you want to explore the more I can help.

Questions about Me and other Mistresses.

Many of you ask me questions which are often covered in the individual Bio's of each Mistress. Please take the time to read the
Bio's most are up to date and do give you an idea of what a woman's interests are.

My own Bio can be found at http://www.mistressamanda.com/amandadwyer

I have included a lot of information which should give you an idea of my approach and philosophy.

Do you think you are a sexual deviate and abnormal?

There is nothing that annoys me more than the depiction of people with BDSM interests as dangerous, sick or plain
looney. I've been a fan of Law and Order over the years but get over the way in which they portray individuals who
have a little bondage equipment in their bedrooms. While many people are confident and comfortable with their
sexuality there are still those who feel guilt or shame when it comes to an interest in BDSM.

Prejudice, discrimination and hatred related to sexuality and sexual minority groups are obstacles to Sexual Health. In my opinion sexual rights will not be achieved for paraphilics locally or globally as long as paraphilia is linked with or referred to as kinky, aberrant, bizarre, deviant behaviour, a disorder, dysfunction or a condition that requires treatment or therapy. As a community that challenges traditional ideals of 'normal' sexuality, the sadomasochistic subculture has long been misunderstood by mainstream society. There is a definite need for freedom from discrimination based on a wide range of negative labeling.

Historically, paraphilias were seen as perverse phenomena, hence the early term "perversion". In the last few decades, with attitudes to sexual behaviour becoming generally more liberal, less derogatory terms (e.g., sexual deviation, sexual variation) came to be used. (De Silva) Needless to say in the area of sexuality, psychology has been particularly harsh and justified particularly brutal treatments for those considered "sexual deviant." Paraphilias are listed in the Diagnostic and Statistic Manual of Mental Disorders as sexual and gender identity disorders where individuals who engage in a variety of paraphilias find they are labeled with a very negative slant characterized by their abnormal sexual desires. (Fallon, 2003)

Admittedly, some paraphilias are seen as necessarily problematic. For example, pedophilia involves harm to children, this is seen as a serious problem behaviour causing social concern and is treated as criminal. However, many other paraphilias are not necessarily a problem to the person or society if the acts concerned are pursued in privacy and/or with consenting adult partners particularly when there is no evident negative affect in the functioning of daily life.

Masochists, sadists, and transvestites' worldwide have their paraphilic sexual interests categorised with constant inferences to disorders which require treatment. Labeling theory further predicts that once an individual is labeled, “the social group seems to assign to that person a new identity and a new role, a new set of expectations. The social group then responds to the individual according to those expectations, thus reinforcing the label and affecting all future interactions” (Hebding, 1987)

The World Health Organisation states that "Health is a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity. The clarity apparent in this definition becomes less obvious when it is applied to behaviour.
BDSM is a collective term that refers to erotic behaviours involving bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism, and/or slave and Mistress/Master relationships. It has been shown that there is considerable crossover among different BDSM behaviors, but also that not all BDSM practitioners engage in all aspects of BDSM (Emulf & Innala, 1995). Moreover, it has been found that people with BDSM interests represent virtually all age groups, ethnicities, genders, relationship styles, sexual orientations and occupations (Weinberg, Williams, & Moser,1984). (Connolly 2006)

Existing Research: Subjects and Methods.
Moser and Levitt (1987) conducted a study of 178 male and 47 female self-identified sadomasochists, gathered primarily through two nationally recognised sadomasochism-oriented groups and a genre-specific magazine. Participants were asked which of 37 sexual activities they had ever experienced, and which of those they enjoyed. With a response rate of 81.9% of participants having tried it, and 66.1% reporting having enjoyed it, the most common activity was spanking. The second most common behaviour was bondage; 77.4% had experienced bondage, and 65.0% of those enjoyed it. Materials often used in bondage scenes, such as rope, chains, and gags, were also frequently reported. Approximately two-thirds of the participants had experienced humiliation, whipping, and fetishism. Acutely painful and semi-permanent or permanent forms of body modification such as tattoos (6.8%), branding (10.1%), and piercing (14.7%) were relatively rare.

A comparable study by Breslow, Evans, and Langley (1985) produced similar results. Their sample was derived mostly from questionnaires included in three sadomasochistic-oriented magazines. A total of 182 individuals responded, including 130 males and 52 females. Ten males and 12 females admitted to being professional sex workers and were excluded from the sample. The most prevalent sexual interest reported by the participants was once again spanking, with 79% of males and 80% of females indicating that it was a preferred activity. Bondage and restraint, listed as separate categories, were reported as pleasurable by 60-67% of males and 83-87% of females. Stringent bondage was yet another category included in the questionnaire, though it was less common than bondage and restraint among the participants. Breslow et al.’s (1985) list of activities was less comprehensive than that of Moser and Levitt, and some behaviors listed such as “pain” and “torture” are ambiguous, as they do not specify the actual activities involved.

Conducted as a comparison to Breslow et al.’s data, Levitt, Moser, and Jamison (1994) obtained their sample of 45 females from the same two well-known sadomasochism groups that supplied their 1987 study. Consistent with the comparison data, the activities that received the highest rates of enjoyment from participants were spanking, bondage, and oral sex, with response rates of 79%, 77%, and 74%, respectively.

Alison et al. (2001) found similar results among their sample of 162 males and 22 females recruited from two sadomasochistic-oriented organisations. Among the respondents to the questionnaire adapted from Sandnabba et al.’s (1999) survey, 88% had experienced bondage, 81.8% had tried flagellation, and 77.5% had participated in oral-anal stimulation, a category included in the list of only one of the previously discussed studies. [http://www.psych.uncc.edu/UJOP/UJOP%202002/Haymore.htm]

In my opinion efforts to promote sexual rights worldwide will be more efficient if all components of sexuality are taken into account, instead of utilizing only partial approaches. Accordingly, integration of sexual health into public health programs should include provisions for wider dimensions of sexual health education including paraphilias. Research has demonstrated not everyone "suffering" from paraphilia is an unwilling victim, sexual predator or mentally disturbed, To tar all paraphiliacs with the same negative brush is unfair and misleading. Harmless pleasures, dangerous activity and abuse of others are aspects that have to be evaluated, taking into consideration both the legal and moral dimensions.(Gayford, 313)

References

Connolly P 2006 Psychological Functioning of Bondage/Domination/Sado-Masochism (BDSM) Practitioners
Psychology & Human Sexuality pages 79 - 120
DOI: 10.1300/J056v18n01_05

De Silva P An Approach to the Treatment of Paraphilias Institute of Psychiatry, London, UK

Gayford J Disorders of Sexual Preference, or Paraphilias: a review of the literature. page 313

Hebding, D. E., & Glick, L. (1987). Introduction to sociology: A text with readings (3 ed.). New York: Random House .page 136

Lev Stephen B, Can Dace B. Risen A; Stanley E. 1990 Essay on the diagnosis and nature of paraphilia
Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy,16 [2] pages 89 -102
DOI: 10.1080/00926239008405255

Ramsour, P. J. 2002. Masochism, Sexual Freedom, and Radical democracy: A Hermeneutic
Study of Sadomasochism in Psychoanalytic, Sociological, and Contemporary Texts.

Electronic References
Haymore C 2002
Sadomasochism: The Pleasure of Pain Undergraduate Journal of Psychology, Volume 15,
Department of Psychology. University of North Carolina, Charlotte. U.S.
Accessed March 2009.
Available @
[http://www.psych.uncc.edu/UJOP/UJOP%202002/Haymore.htm]

Fallon, L. Fleming. "Fetishism." Gale Encyclopedia of Mental Disorders.
The Gale Group Inc. 2003. HighBeam Research.
Accessed 27 Mar. 2009
Available @
[http://www.highbeam.com].

Smart arse comment 01/11/10

It is amusing how many smart arse comments I receive. I refer to a comment made on 1st of this month
replying to my post on 31st. October.

Any apprentice who commences at SK's is on a 3 month trial. Information regarding Aleksa is available,
but nothing goes on the internet until the lady herself has taken the time and trouble to put some effort
into her Bio as well as proving to me that she is suitable for Salon Kitty's.

When Zila commenced she informed me she would be going overseas in November for a couple of months
therefore at present there is no Bio. Even though she assures me she wants to return I have found from
experience that things happen in life and for what ever reason this may not be the case.

To the ignorant individual who wrote the comment, you obviously have no idea how MY establishment
operates. New women do come and go and it is MY responsibility to make sure that new ladies are suitable
first and foremost before any information goes on the website.

Furthermore, I believe I deserve a little more respect than what you have shown towards me. You forget the fact
that in the 25 years we have been operating well over one hundred women have learnt their trade within Salon Kitty's,
many stay for over ten years while some have worked overseas or from their own private premises.

Thanks to eveyone who took part in our Birthday Celebrations.

I'm pretty certain SK's will not be around in another 25 years. Heavens, by then we will probably all be doing
everything in the virtual world. From now on prices revert back to what they were prior to October.

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